Those who remain
by Aria7
Summary: Nerdanel thinks back to her last conversation with her husband, her eldest son and also her thoughts on their oath, as they leave Tirion for Middleearth.


**Disclaimer: **I own nothing, not a thing. Tolkien owns it, he owns it all! The only thing I own in this is the writing and the name of Caranthir's wife, that's it nothing else. The writing in italics is taken from HoMe 10 and 12.I have changed a little of the wording from Fëanor to Fëanáro though as I thought that would make more sense. 

**Author's notes:** For the record this is my first ever Silmfic, though I have been an avid reader of them, and the Silmarillion since I found my first on Henneth-Annun. And since this is my first I want honest reviews that tell me if I should scrap this and start again, especially as I'm debating doing a companion fic for this one, probably from Fëanor's point of view, or one of his son's. But anyway on with the, well, story I suppose.

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**_Those who remain…_**

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**_"She came to him before the host started on its northward march."_**

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And so for the second time in my life I watched them and him leave; leave me behind.

I remember clearly our last conversation; we shot words at each other; each hoping to wound the other more and more. Then I told him, no, no I begged him.

_"Leave me the twins, or one of them at least!"_

I can still recall his expression, though I am still not entirely certain of how to describe it, shock and then, then I believe it was something akin to anger but, so different, so very different.

It was as though by just asking for my youngest sons, my twins, my Ambarussa; that I had turned against him, that I had betrayed him, that I had deserted him.

_"Were you a true wife, as you had been till cozened by Aulë, you would keep all of them, for you would come with us. If you desert me, you desert also all our children. For they are determined to go with their father!"_

I realise now that we had only been speaking out of anger and grief; but that is no excuse. I remember the hot tears flowing down my cheeks, making me appear almost as angry and as hurt as I felt inside; as he said those words that are engrained in my heart, in my soul.

_"Were you a true wife…"_

Those words they haunt me still as I watch them leave from this tower. In so many ways I wish to follow them. To go with them, to do as he wished of me…but, I cannot, not after what I said;

_"You will not keep all of them. One at least will never set foot on Middle-Earth."_

My voice I hear again, scorning him and, them. Scorning his fruitless endeavour for revenge. I have heard that Nolofinwë and Arafinwë will follow their brother on this fools errand; even their sister Iriën, has said she will go. But I cannot, not now. I will remain with my father in Aulës' halls, or mayhap in Tirion with the others who will not leave. The Lady Indis and her elder daughters Findis and Faniel I have heard will also remain; though I fear that they will desert Tirion and return to Taniquetil to live with their Vanyarin kin.

I fear for my sons also, Makalaurë's wife has chosen to remain as has Carnistir's wife Elenmirë. Though for neither do I know truly why. As for Atarinkë's wife she is undecided and so rides with the host who now do leave. And with them go their son, my only grandchild Telperinquar who is little more than a babe in arms.

I hear my eldest sons parting words to me as though he is standing here beside me once more; he pleads with me to leave with them, and not desert them again. For he wishes, like I, not to parted once more, for they do not wish for any more disquiet. And this time I fear though that fate will not be kind to him or his brothers ever again. Oh my sons! I hear their words again, spoken in the heat of a moment;

_"Be he foe or friend, be he foul or clean_

_brood of Morgoth or bright Vala,_

_Elda or Maia or Aftercomer;…_

An oath…

_"Man yet unborn upon Middle-earth,_

_neither law, nor love, nor league of swords,_

_dread nor danger, not Doom itself…"_

A terrible oath…

_"Shall defend him from Fëanáro, and Fëanáro's kin,"_

That is yet a prophecy itself…

_"Whoso hideth or hoardeth, or in hand taketh,_

_finding keepeth or afar casteth_

_a Silmaril. This swear we all…"_

It will take them…

_"death we will deal him ere Day's ending,_

_woe unto world's end! Our word hear thou,_

_Eru Allfather! To the everlasting_

_Darkness doom us if our deed faileth…"_

It will, I see it now…

_"On the holy mountain hear in witness…"_

It will never be broken…

_"and our vow remember…,"_

Until…

_"Manwë and Varda!"_

The last.

**_"Take your Evil omens to the Valar who will delight in them," said Fëanor. "I defy them." So they parted._**

**Names:**

Nolofinwë = Fingolfin

Arafinwë =Finarfin

Fëanáro = Fëanor

Ambarussa = Amrod and Amras

Makalaurë = Maglor

Carnistir = Caranthir

Atarinkë = Curufin

Telperinquar = Celebrimbor

Iriën = Lalwen

I have included references to all of Finwë and Indis' daughters as I think Tolkien may have just have made an error in the Shibboleth pertaining Faniel's exemption. Elenmirë is a name I made up for Caranthir's wife who is mentioned along with Maglor's and Curufin's wives in HoMe  12; and since it states that Curufin's wife remained in Valinor  my brain has decided that Celebrimbor must have been born in the waning years of the Blessed realm. 


End file.
